Holding On
by Aiko110
Summary: Hmm... This is a story about Seras losing control and getting very angry with her Master Alucard about a multitude of reasons. It was sorta suppose to be a oneshot, but it kinda ended like a cliff hanger! ' So, if u want another one, just review!
1. Chapter 1

**_Seras' Rage_**

The medical blood bag was shoved into her face for the fifth time.

"Drink your blood police girl!"

"NO", Seras nearly screamed, running from the door to the middle her bed/coffin.

She curled up into a protective ball and hugged her folded legs to her large chest, as if by doing so her Master and her "dinner" would disappear.

Wishful thinking.

"Police girl, how many times must we go through with this?!" growled a tall pale skinned figure with heavy black boots, clad in red from his trench coat to his old fashion tie, to his wide-brimmed hat. Frustration and annoyance were evident in his voice. It was also shown on his face, since he had long discarded his orange tinted shades on the wooden table.

This didn't help poor Seras in the least as she huddled herself tighter and rocked back and forth. She lowered her head against her knees, allowing her unruly blonde hair cover her eyes.

And just like Seras had grown more frightened, Alucard grew more irritated.

Taking of his hat and sitting on Seras's bed, he ran a gloved hand through his (currently short) black hair.

"Dammit police girl, why won't you just drink it?!? We've been through this at least a hundred times already- and I don't have all night! Forget your stupid humanity, and eat so I can go!"

Seras popped her head up at the sound of her master's words.

_He's making it sound as if it's MY FAULT!!!_

Red-hot anger began bubbling within her as her mouth shot off before she could stop it.

"It's not like I **asked you **to stay her and force me to drink blood! If you're so busy, why don't you just _leave_!?!?"

Now it was Alucard's turn to have his head pop up, while giving an icy glare that made Seras's boiling anger cool right on down.

"Don't you think I would've left your disgraceful ass if I could?? Integra ordered me to do this! Other wise, I would leave you here to starve to death and go on with my night!"

Suddenly Seras felt a pang of sadness in her heart.

Don't get her wrong, she _did _wish for him to leave, but the reason for why he came into her room, the reason why he had this commotion over her not drinking blood in, the reason why he mentioned how she'd die without it, wasn't quite the reason she had hoped for…

_Is he truly not concerned if I drink blood or not? Would he really not care about my death?_

Seras fell silent for a little while, trying the best to ignore her master's glare in her direction. She had just recently mastered the technique of blocking her Master Alucard from reading her mind, so she was able to think to herself in peace.

'_**Don't you think I would've left your disgraceful ass if I could?? Integra ordered me to do this! Other wise, I would leave you here to starve to death and go on with my night!'**_

_So he only came down here and tried to literally force-feed me just because Integra told him to??_

A mixture of hurt and anger made warm bitter tears show brightly underneath her blue eyes. It took all the courage she could muster staring into his blood red eyes, and talking at the same time. For a while now she's been wondering on a question, and it was too late to go back.

"Master Alucard… Why didn't you leave me in Cheddar?"

A slight hint of surprise ran across his eyes at the sudden change of subject.

"It was you're choice police girl. You chose to come with me. There's nothing you can do to change that."

_It was your choice police girl._

_It was your choice…_

_Your __**choice**_

He had always said that. Always reminded her that it was her words, her consent that damned her to live the life of the undead.

_My "choice"..._

_Bullshit._

Jumping on the bed from a sitting to a standing position, Seras, for the very first time in a long time, just let go…

"Yeah, to be dead or to be undead- you call that a choice?? Not to mention, I hadn't the faintest idea what the hell you were!! I wanted to LIVE! I agreed to go with you cause I thought you'd save my LIFE! Not give me another one! A life of destroying monsters, drinking blood, and sleeping in coffins! If I knew back then what I know now, I would've said **'HELL NO!'.**

Alucard lifted his head to stare into the face of his standing fledgling, only to see her turn around and face the wall, striking it with an in human punch. He raised an eyebrow.

"No family! No friends! No comforting shelter I can call home! I'll never get to be married! I will never get to have children! Even if I pretended to be normal, fool myself to think I'm human again and that nothing's wrong, it'd never work! **I WILL NEVER BE AMONGST HUMANS IN THE DAYLIGHT EVER AGAIN!!!**" Seras shouted at the top of her lungs while punching the wall, leaving large cracks as she screamed the last sentence.

Each punch symbolizing her increasing anger and despairs for the fact that everything she just said was true.

And there is nothing she can do about it.

She was now considered as a monster; a child of the night; Hellsing's second strongest weapon; and a servant to the immortal, sadistic Alucard.

Though listening to every word his fledgling said, seeing her frustration build by each sentence as she punched the wall, feeling the misery and anguish that clouded her mind, it did not stop him in the least from saying his cruel words.

"You're pathetic police girl. You've already chosen your path. Now stop disgusting me with your dull complaints. Except the darkness, then you can drink my blood and become a true vampire."

Seras froze…

She had poured her heart out and had been shut down as soon as she stopped.

She knew Alucard wasn't merciful. She knew he could not even remotely come close to the emotion of "sympathy". She knew he could not understand anything unless it was an order from Integra, or the enemy challenging him to a fight to the death, or the time his blood packets would arrive.

But he had gone too far.

Alucard looked at his fledgling, sensing the immense aura radiating off of her body. Alucard's brows furrowed.

He had never seen his police girl as something threatening enough to make a grown man wet his pants.

Yet now, even Alucard himself truly considered the option of silently scooting out of the room and leave Seras alone for a while.

But before he could put his plan into action, Seras turned her turned her body and crouched down to her Master, until they were face to face. The Nosferatu noted that he was indeed in some deep shit since his fledgling's eyes- a beautiful innocent blue- altered into a not so innocent red.

And with a hateful glare, the best glare that Seras Victoria had ever effectively made, she lowered her voice into a hushed tone.

Alucard for the first time in centuries formed goosebumps, and each word coated with venom, she spoke these words…

"_Master, the only reason I'd ever drink your blood would be so I can runaway from Hellsing, get sent after by you, and __**hopefully **__get shot in the head, and leave what I've become and __**YOU**__ behind!!!"_


	2. Thank You!

**Cursed Flame:** OO wow...talk about enough to scare the hell outta you...

who knew seras could get like that OO

this is realy getting good

update soon please

**egyptiangoddessofdeath**(A/N: I love this username btw)pleasepleaseplease add another chapter,this is really good!

**Obsessed dreamer:** ohh. someone's rebelling..few misspellings, promising storyline.

alucard and seras' relationship is a complicated one and this first chap nearly touches that base. hope you can expound on this. verdict: UPDATE!!

**Schizophrenic-unicorn**carry on!

**Demmie: **wow...angsty!! I love it, and would love for this to continue. Ive always wondered what it would be like if Seras hated Alucard so much that she would wish her death instead of being there with him, but Ive never been able to put it down on paper. Well done to you. The hatred there is very evident, and its wonderful. Congrats. This is going on my fave list.

**WitchDocter:** This was great! please update

**BlackWolfHellHound**This was... interesting. Its definetly not an original idea, but on the same note, I don't think anyone's ever done it quite like that before. I'm talking about the idea of Seras running away, in case I was being too random for that to be picked up. This could be a really good story, if you don't get ahead of yourself. Go with it, definetly, but be careful. Don't rush it.

BWHH

P.S. Fiereal says he liked it.

**Dimaondfire**your detail could use a little bit of work and you could introduce a few more original ideas. but I really do think its worth continuing.

**Master of the Boot:** As a oneshot this was good. As a developed story it might be even better. I have to agree with you on Seras choice, hardly fair was it.

Ta

Master of teh Boot 

**DrakMasquerade**I Love This! Please Please Please write more!!

**RyousRayne**PLEASE CONTINUE! BUT IF IT ISNT A ALUCARD SERAS PAIRING DON'T [sorry i know thats a rude thing to say but i hate alucard integra pairings

(A/N: I'd like to thank this person for reminding me this is indeed an AlucardXSeras fanfiction. So if you want AluIntegra, will you kindly exit the door on the right hand corner and get hit by a bus. )

**Kitty Black Cat:** Yep! This is a good fic! But I definetly need another chapter or a sequel because you leave us wanting more of this. I don't know if you will write anything else but it would be really nice if you could. If not, congrats for this good fic! There really aren't enough of fics with Seras blowing her top at Alucard. Nice job!

**I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS ON EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER, BUT I'D JUST LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED MY STORY. I'M SO SURPRISED I GOT EVEN THIS MANY! O.O **

**IF IT WEREN'T FOR ALL OF THESE GUYS, I MOST CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED THIS STORY. THANK YOUZ!**


	3. Chapter 2

**_Punishment_ **

Silence filled the room…

Lord only knows how Seras stopped time all together, but she was too pissed to care.

Alucard on the other hand, was appalled.

He didn't quite expect things to turn this way.

He knew she'd refuse. He knew she'd do anything other than succumb to her blood lust. He knew she'd get upset over the whole ordeal, and pull herself into a silly ball.

But what he _didn't_ know was that she would not yield to him in the end.

_This is a first…_ Alucard thought bitterly.

Police girl was mad beyond comparison… except of his own.

No matter what she feels, no matter how much regret she felt, showing disrespect towards her Master is inexcusable.

How _dare_ his fledgling speak to him this way? He was the Master, and she was his servant! She didn't just "cross" the line, she skipped, hopped, jumped, and drove over it!

Before the Nosferatu could get anymore infuriated, he felt a tug on his mind.

_Integra... _

Alucard diverted his attention back to Seras, still glowering at him but with a hint of uncertainty in her blood red eyes.

Alucard's eyes became slits of poisonous rage.

Seras backed up a little with more uncertainty in her eyes, but still staring at her Master nonetheless.

Alucard stood up, put back on his hat, and walked to the table to collect his glasses.

"…Integra has summoned me."

Seras stopped scooting away and looked up at her standing Master.

_Maybe… I'll be off the hook… and he'll forgive me later… _

The fool forgot to block him from her thoughts.

_What…did.…she…..saaay??_ Alucard drawled in his mind. _Did she actually think she'd be let go that easily?? After what she said to me!?_

A growl emitted from Alucard's throat. Rage roared through his body as he swiftly picked Seras up by her shoulders and slammed her against the stonewall. A longer fissure stretched in all directions around Seras's body.

Alucard's mad red eyes stared directly into hers.

Scared out of her wits, Seras's eyes turned back into their normal childlike blue.

With anyone else, he would've thought that was a way to earn mercy switching to such attractive eyes, but he knew she wasn't deceptive enough.

Squeezing her shoulders to the point blood trickled down her arm, pressing her so hard against the stone she could barely breathe, he bent his head down and put his lips directly across her ear.

"Seras Victoria. We _will_ finish this."

Seras felt a cold chill of fear mingled with pleasure from Alucard's warm breath.

Her back was beginning to ache, her legs were starting to feel weaker, and Alucard's soft hair brushed against her cheek when his lips drifted down to her neck. Her torso rose unsteadily with her racing heartbeat, gently touching his heartless one.

"…And when I come back, it won't be me screaming in agony."

Before Seras realized it, two razor sharp fangs were submerged into her neck.

It was the same place he last bit her. A red filled night, in a broken down, shot down, half destroyed church. Him holding her, kissing her blood tainted lips. Then sinking his fangs into her fragile neck and sending waves of serenity coursing through her body.

Like a soundless dream she never wished to awaken… 

But this was different.

Seras screamed.

Instead of holding her, he was crushing her.

Instead of kissing her, he was killing her.

The soothing tranquility she had known was no more. There was nothing but excruciating pain.

He tore at her neck, drinking her blood at rapid speed. She could feel her legs give in and swore she was about to die right then and there.

She continued screaming, louder and louder, more and more pain. In a desperate attempt, she put her hands against her Master's chest and pushed him off…

Or… at least she tried to.

Her arms felt so heavy, it took all her might and will to place them on Alucard's chest and give a gentle shove.

Surprisingly, he stopped.

His fangs slid out of her throat, and he quickly licked the wound clean.

Once he lifted his head from her, he held a stern look on his face.

Every scream, all the pain he inflicted, all of it was on purpose.

Seras didn't even try to hold back her over flowing tears as she whimpered softly.

Alucard looked down upon his police girl. Though a stern and unfeeling face was there, it was just hiding the war he was fighting inside.

_I was punishing her. It was something she deserved after the disrespect she'd shown me. This was necessary. Everything was necessary!_

Her tears; her injured arms; her hurt blue eyes…

Yet again there was a tug on his mind, this time, a hell of a lot more firm than the last. Mrs. Hellsing was getting _very_ impatient. Soon she'd try to contact him through his mind and shout colorful words, serving to prove how far from the term "lady-like" she was.

The vampire finally let go of his fledgling and watched as her body instantly dropped.

He turned his back to her and walked off the bed.

He had left her barely alive.

A black swirling vortex that served as his usual transportation appeared infront of him, but before he left, Alucard turned around and sent Seras his reminder that her punishment was still not finished.

As soon as his eyes found her swollen ones, terrifying hallucinations were forced within her mind.

Alucard turned back around and walked into the black void, leaving his fledgling with her eyes widend in unimaginable fright, and violently shaking even after the Nosferatu and was gone.

Visions of blood… 

Oceans of blood...

Surrounding her, circling her, until no matter where she turned she couldn't escape from the whirlpool of red.

Red hands began to form, grabbing her arms, legs and clothes, and dragging her down into their bottomless pool of blood.

Pain… 

She felt as if something had pierced her stomach straight out to her back.

She searched franticly around her, pulling, tugging, punching in a vain attempt of escaping this nightmare.

She saw nothing at first, but once she looked ahead there was a black blurry figure in the distance.

It was a Pike. A long spear with the blade pointing down.

It was drenched in red and seemed to be the source of all the blood. There was a girl there too; blonde hair and about 5'7, and…she seemed to be somewhere… near the pike….

Before Seras could shout for help, hoping she could use the pike to pull Seras out, she saw the girl's head rise up…

Seras shook even more.

_No…..__**NO!!!**_

Seras 's eyes filled with new tears, knowing she had made a grave mistake .

This wasn't good. She needed to get out of here!

He didn't kill her before, but now she wished he did.

The vision he had sent her, it made her so sick, if it weren't for Hellsing's training she would have gone mad.

The girl she had seen wasn't just _near_ the pike...

She was impaled by it.

And the girl who was impaled… 

Was her.


End file.
